Commitment

Now if you're my wife, who thinks my blogs would be better if she could skim PAST the exercise details and just read the 'real life' stuff, this is one of those in its entirety. This ones for you babe...

---- No exercise details follow ----

Recently I made a list of movies that I wanted to see (maybe while trying to put some time in on my bike on the trainer), but I also picked out a movie called "The Time Traveler's Wife". From the review that I read, it sounded like a movie that my wife and I might both like: time traveling, love, marriage, hope, struggles, ... could be a good mix of guy and gal content. So we watched it the other evening...

I don't want to give any 'spoilers', but I thought it was good. I saw conflict, love, commitment, hope, .. and when it was time for the couple to reflect back on their life; they said they wouldn't have changed anything. That's so rare these days. Most of us think marriage is about myself: meeting my needs, helping me succeed, being happy, giving 50-50, ... what I'm learning after 20+ years of marriage is that just isn't what its about.

As one who believes that God puts people together for the life long journey called marriage - it's so much bigger than ourselves. A marriage is the starting place for a family, for a heritage, for generations to benefit and reap harvests that were initial sown by us. It's about giving 100%: anyone can love someone who loves them back, but what about giving with out getting your needs meet, or lowering expectations and requirements to be happy, maybe seeing our spouse as more important than ourselves, ... and on and on it goes.

The movie to my wife was sad - and she doesn't like sad endings. I however thought the ending was positive. So, we saw the same movie but experienced it differently - imagine that ... ! It lead to some nice discussion about how I saw the movie and why I thought it was hopeful and why she thought it was sad. I don't like to make movie recommendations - but I guess I'm about to: I thought this was worth the time to watch it as husband and wife.

Some of the thoughts; what can I do differently to love my spouse as God would have me too? What unrealistic expectations am I holding on to, or even requiring of my spouse? What areas of selfishness can I surrender? What languages of Love does my spouse respond to?

• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

After 21 years, I feel like I'm almost starting over again. God has given me a fresh love for my wife, so I know He can do the same for you ... if you are willing: to pray, surrender and do what needs to be done; knowing isn't enough - it's got to get into your heart and experienced through your actions and words. I'm hopeful for the next 20 years: they should be incredible - or so that is my desire.

(With the oldest person alive at 114; if we both make it that long - we've got several sets of 20 year increments left ... :-)